Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
did you just send me my own nude
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
