I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
