Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
