Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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