I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
and she was petting her beer can
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
