I hope mine doesn't look like that
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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