After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
