If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
