I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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