went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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