and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
