I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
we made out on top of his cat.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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