they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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