Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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