Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
