Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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