she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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