I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
