And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
try to milk me bitch
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
