Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
