I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
