oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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