Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.

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(574): View more from Indiana

There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party

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(804): View more from Virginia

I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.

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(716): View more from New York

Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see

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(720): View more from Colorado

We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.

(970): View more from Colorado

Oooh, he sounds pretty classy

(720): View more from Colorado

Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.

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(347): View more from New York

And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right

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(615): View more from Tennessee

It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.

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