Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
