I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
no you cant smoke seaweed
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
