I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The air was thick with penises
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
How does one acquire holy water?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
