I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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