wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
