I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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