I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
