And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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