A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Blood and glitter go together right?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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