Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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