Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
