from now on my penis is your penis
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
