I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
