He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
