And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
