you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
