I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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