Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
