I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
