She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
40s are totally the cure
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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