My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
