You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
