I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
