We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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