U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
