That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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