hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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